I have a problem:
I can't get over things

and advice like:
Just be yourself
dont go looking for it
is just so conflicting
if i were myself i wouldn't still be in this pathetic state
and not looking for it means that it will never come
things dont just happen
especially when you're a guy.
a guy without any special talents
a guy who is too serious but is impervious to everything else

i guess im different
like half of this and half of that

Sometimes I hope I am little bit more successful?
Perhaps swim all the fantastic styles in the shortest timing for a lap
Or that I could be sociable

Sometimes I have this fire inside me
that wants more
makes me wanna be someone
the best there is
Sometimes I have this ice inside me
that totally shuts out worldly influence
that I should be just who am I
and the world is just me

This double approach really confuses me and makes me feel down
like ill be fire, ice, fire, ice mode
Ill be working hard to achieve something
then ill feel that i've done something
then ill see someone better than me
then ill feel down
like why am i never there

why other people can score like 9 As and im not one of them
why other people can have such desirable bods without much effort and im not one of them
why other people can get into a relationship so easily and im not one of them
why other people can do like 30 pullups and im not one of them
why other people can like jump high and far and im not one of them
why other people have such marvelous talents and im not one of them

i try to stay up
but i keep getting down

hello ~

well well
the exams and projs are still on going
which means no going out with the busy undergrads
and the a levels
haha
not that i know anyone that's taking the a lvls
good luck to all involved


been down with the usual list of illness that comes together
sorethroat, flu, fever...
but recovering already
now is only the blocked nose that's irritating


9 more days ! take note all ~
hahaha
ja!