i think im suffering from atrophy of some kind
i cant type as well as i used to
its just weird
and the typos are significant

anyway
today math was good
i hope
seems pretty easy
but usually
easy things to me are those that i did badly for
difficult things to me are those that i did badly for too
lose-lose situation
great

ah
sweet a levels are just around the corner
and here i am
still gaming
and living life as if a levels were next year

i kinda figured out that
from the point i left poly
or actually secondary school
life was going to be different
very different
in secondary school
you had lots of free time
i wonder where did my time go to
how could people build such strong friendships in secondary school
while i
it's how my youth is wasted (not really though. i still have a year plus being teen)
wasted

i think im kinda slow developer
somehow i observed
my behavioral patterns
fit those in secondary school
so what does that make me
kid?
certainly i would like to be a kid again
shed all those excessive pounds away
get a hot killer bod to die for
force my mum to let me learn piano
and read more books

but the truth is
no one can change their past
some long dead guy said
if you alter the past, the future will disintegrate
anyway

i found out im not the affectionate kind
as much as i want to
im not

im distant from my parents
and socially inept

when was the last time i hugged my parents
at no point in my living memory
perhaps during infancy
but theres infantile amnesia
so i wont recall

my phone remained dead for one week
im better off with a hi card
or perhaps cancel the line
it would save my parents 20 dollars a month

the nights are long
and they get longer